Guy: (after stepping back onto me in the overcrowded Little Lonsdale Stage queue) Sorry.. sorry.. you have to forgive me, I'm a little intoxicated.
Michelle: If I have to...
Guy: If I might say so, you look a little frustrated.
Michelle: Nicely noticed.
Guy: Hey, could you answer a simple question for me?
Michelle: I could try.
Guy: What would you do if a guy came up to you today in the queue and said "Hi there, how're you doing?" would you be civil and answer his question or would you be a snob and ignore him?
Michelle: Well as you're already talking to me I suppose I'd probably say "Hi" back. Why?
Guy: Because I said hi to that girl there and she snobbed me! wouldn't talk to me!!
Michelle: Ah, her? well, I can see why that might be the case.
Guy: Yeh? Why's that?
Michelle: Well, she's been standing in this queue for over an hour. She, like me, entered the queue when it was half way down Swanston Street so she's probably as frustrated and tired as I am by now, whereas *you* only entered the queue 10 minutes ago when you pushed in and queue jumped.
Guy: Oh. Shit. Yeh. Ha ha ha yeh. Um.. so.. why didn't you call me on that? Why didn't you tell me to go to the back of the queue?
Michelle: Because by the time you pushed in, I was beyond caring about anything anymore.
Guy: Oh. Right. Well. Now I feel bad. Here (un-velcroing a free sun visor frisbee'd into the crowded queue by TripleJ dorks a few minutes earlier) by way of an apology I'd like to offer..
Michelle: Don't you give me that fucking hat.
Guy: What. Why?
Michelle: It's a shitty cheap hat and I don't want it.
Guy: Oh right it is kinda shitty.
This story doesn't end with a good punchline, but then neither did the Laneway Festival. I was so close to throwing a wobbly after finally getting into the Little Lonsdale Laneway to find the sound system was so shit, I could barely hear the music - I just went home.
At least I'm shit-faced.
Young woman after her friend commented on the fact they'd been in the queue for over an hour.
AU$105 to queue for 2 hours (one 30 minute wait where I got so annoyed I broke the queue, one 90 minute where I manage to stick it out but wished I'd broken the queue) and not hear any music.
St Jerome's Laneway Festival : How shit was it? Extremely. Will not buy again.