Thursday Night
Telemarketer: Good evening, we're conducting a short survey and would appreciate some of your time.
Me: Time? how much time?
Telemarketer: Just a few minutes.
Me: how few is few because I really don't have that many at the moment.
Telemarketer: Just a short survey, it's only going to take ten minutes.
Me: ten minutes? that's not short, I was thinking short might be say.. two minutes.
Telemarketer: Ten minutes isn't very much time.
Me: Right now, ten minutes is too much time. I'm going to have to decline, thanks all the same.
Telemarketer: Really, ten minutes is too long? that's not very much time you know.
Me: We've used it up already as a matter of fact, so I'm going to exercise my perogitive and say no, then I'm going to hang up my phone.
Telemarketer: oh um.. are you sur ...
Me: *gone*
Saturday Morning
Telemarketer: Good morning Michelle, I'm from [some market research company with a name I never remember) and we're conducting a short survey this morning.
Me: goodness, I'm getting a lot of you people this week, you're number four so far.
Telemarketer: Today??
Me: no, this *week*
Telemarketer: Well, we're conducting a short survey, it should only take two or three minutes.
Me: okay, go on then.
Telemarketer: Great. Do you or anyone in your household work in any of the following industries - Government or Local Polictics?
Me: No.
Telemarketer: Advertising or PR?
Me: No.
Telemarketer: Media or Market Research?
Me: I'm beginning to feel like I work in Market Research but the pay is crap so.. no.
Telemarketer: Teaching, Architecture or Design?
Me: heh.. yeh.
Telemarketer: Which one? Teaching Architecture or Design?
Me: All three. I Teach part time, I used to work for an architect, and I media designer.
Telemarketer: goodness. what does a media designer do?
Me: I design things you see on the computer when we deliever learning such as - the interface, the elements such as images and diagrams, the way the information flows through a learning program sortof.
Telemarketer: oh gosh, okay. What about the Arts, [something i've forgotten] or Writiing?
Me: ah, my current job is as a techical writer soo.. yeh. Writing I guess.
Telemarketer: Would you say you watch less than 2 hours of television a day or more than two hours of television a day?
Me: I watch less than two hours of television per *week* so.. the former.
Telemarketer: I have one last question for you Michelle, and I'm going to time you and I'd like you to tell me how many things you can do with a brick!
Me: A brick this time? It was a rubberband last time.
Telemarketer: It's a brick, and the time starts.. now, go!
Me: a brick, you can build fences with it, walls, curbs, you can throw it through windows you can ahh.. use it to hold paper down you can tie a ribbon round it you can stop books on a shelf from falling over by using bricks as bookends you can umm.. you can make a coffee table with bricks, prop your wonky bed up with bricks ahmm no I don't know too much about bricks I'm more a rubberband girl.
Telemarketer: Okay, thankyou for your time Michelle.
Me: Bye.
[NOTE: interesting that "building houses" wasn't a thing I thought of to do with bricks considering all those blimin' brick house plans I drew up - silly brain cataloguing, Michelle]