Me: Hi, I'd like some oil for my car.
Service Station Guy: Oil. For your car.
Me: Yeh, oil for my car.
Service Station Guy: ...
Me: this is a self service station, I was wondering how I go about getting oil for my car.
Service Station Guy:Oil.
Me: Yeh, oil for my car. I need about a litre.
Service Station Guy: Oil, for your car.
Me: ...
Service Station Guy: Oil.. OH.. you mean petrol!
Me: No.. I mean OIL. Oil for my CAR.
Service Station Guy: ...
Me: Look, is there anyone else I can ask scanning the forecourt for help
Service Station Guy: scanning for help
Me: That guy points out the window to a guy refilling the Coke machine can I ask him?
Service Station Guy: yeh, YEH! go ask him. yeh.
Me: Hi, I'd like some oil for my car.
Other Service Station Guy: ahh, yep, okay.
Me: I need a litre.
Other Service Station Guy: ah, yep, okay.
Me: waiting outside as the other service station guy gets the oil.
Other Service Station Guy: Getting the oil
Me: waiting
Other Service Station Guy: Getting...
Me: going in search of the other service station guy to find him on his hands and knees behind the counter looking for something.
Other Service Station Guy: looking for a funnel under the counter
Me: wondering when the hell they started using funnels to pour oil into cars
Other Service Station Guy: finally deciding on a funnel and going out into the forecourt to put oil in my car
Me: follows
Other Service Station Guy: goes to get one square of handitowel. comes back to my car to fold it in half. then in half again. in half again, then one last time. Then checks the dipstick, wiping carefully with his origami dipstick wiper, returns the now clean dipstick back into the receptacle, and waits. Waits. Waits. then takes the dipstick from the car and examines the levels. Yep, you need 1 litre.
Me: gives him some *thinking* room and goes to pay for this entire pleasurable experience I'd like to pay for that please points to my lone car in the forecourt I got petrol too.
First Service Station Guy: That'll be $24.95
Me: ah, yeh, that's the petrol but I got oil for my car too.
First Service Station Guy: ahh, oil. for your car.
Me: Yes, see? out there your colleague is putting 1 litre of oil in my car.
First Service Station Guy: ah.. Okay.. can you wait here a minute?
Me: waits
First Service Station Guy: goes to find a litre bottle of oil to scan, comes back, scans $38.50 thanks.
Me: pays and gets the hell out of there.
Other Service Station Guy: has spent the entire time I've been paying trying to get the funnel to fit into the hole to pour the oil the funnel doesn't fit.
Me: You know, if you just pour the oil into the hole, that'd be okay.
Other Service Station Guy: pours the oil into the hole
Me: waits
Other Service Station Guy: watches the upturned bottle now jammed into the hole letting every last bit drip out
Me: waiting
Other Service Station Guy: goes to get another square of handitowel. comes back to fold it in half. then in half again. in half again, then one last time. Then checks the dipstick, wiping carefully with his origami dipstick wiper, returns the now clean dipstick back into the receptacle, and waits. And waits. And waits. then removes the dipstick and examines the level. Yep, that's good.
At that stage, he replaced the cap, and picked his funnel from the ground and walked back into the service station leaving me to shut my car hood and wonder who the hell trains these people.