While I sleep tonight, NASA will be holding a news conference to announce an astrobiological discovery. I reckon NASA is most likely to say they've found evidence of crusted up bacteria stuck to the underside of some space junk. Fox reckons the news is going to be disappointing, and wasn't heartened by my theory of microscopic aliens fossilised in ancient meteor impact sites - but that's because a) she's not easily impressed and b) she's anti-bacterial (yeh yeh I know, anti-bicrobial but that's not what's going to make her roll her eyes as much)

But maybe it is going to be a big deal - a huge anouncement - evidence beyond doubt. What if they wheel out some dude who lives the hell across the other side of the Galaxy? No that would be some news conference.

"Hi, I'm George and I'm from Ursa Minor. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?"

A couple of clues to the fact that it could be that major lie in the dot points below:

1. The onslaught (well three, maybe more) of alien invasion movies hitting the cinemas this summer. Everywhere I look (well three places, maybe two) on apple.com/trailers has people being beamed aboard alien space ships. Is it that because of our economic climate, Hollywood has decided to make us realise, look, it could be a LOT worse, or is it George, from Ursa Minor seeding our minds so we're not so resistant to the idea of being assimilated?
2. Last night at the U2 concert in Melbourne - all the band could talk about was space, and science, and the universe, and how we're all the same really. Every man is the same as every other man. Tasty tasty same? bit like chicken? No, wait, Bono didn't say that - but he did sound like he was saying goodbye to the world all night - and played quite a lot (well three, maybe more) of film clips featuring flying saucers and aliens (maybe two). And you know if anyone is gonna know that the end of the world is coming it's Bono and the Boys cos people tell them stuff, right? (well maybe two things, one being the end of the world is nigh) I mean, that stage - The Claw - clearly alien technology.

If NASA come and talk about finding fossilised bacteria that is not of this world - or, in fact, ON another world (Mars, for instance) that'll be interesting.

If they introduce some Klatu-type dude who's going to tell us we're fucking up the planet - well he ought to travel across the Universe to bring us something we don't know, dammit!

If it's brain sucking insectoids from outer space - I hope like jimminey I'm at Hive Zero - I'm so fecking exhausted I wouldn't mind having THAT as an excuse not to go to work anymore.

3 Dec 2010 6:36am NEWS UPDATE : FINDINGS REDEFINE MEANING OF LIFE (ohhh I see what you did there) and BOOYAH (redefined something WAY more important)

(I'll fix some more of the site this weekend - first up: lists)