10:40pm

After tossing and turning all night, by the time I got to my office building, my jaw was sore from clenching my teeth for so long. All night dreaming about the different combinations of actions I could do to get things done. I'd left a job last night that wasn't going well, and the deadline - a 10:30am meeting - was tight if it continued to prove difficult. Arriving downstairs in the foyer, I greated a bunch of my co-workers coming out of an elevator that wasn't working. The one they piled into to take the 11 floors up to our office was too crowded for me so I decided to wait for the next one. Marshall waited too. Poor Marshall: he's my new boss btw (the sheriff in the sketch further down the page.. except, of course, he doesn't look like that, he's *much* taller). He was fresh back from a business trip to Wellington and he made the fatal mistake of asking me how everything was.

And out it came. With grrrs and growls and bad temper. Poor Marshall - he hadn't looked that happy before I started.. by the time I stopped my purge he was even saggier. He's so nice, and smart, and has such great ideas and plans. I know how frustrating it is there for me and I don't even have grand plans for the place. Well the project I was worrying about went okay and the client was happy and it made life easier for Penny for a moment or two. Pretty much after that, even though I worked another long day, I was pretty happy and upbeat. I won't infect Marshall again with my hiss and spit, but it sure helped to just say it to someone. Maybe next time I'll pick a lucky stranger in the street and spare the people I work with.

Today, Rosie is down in Wellington. We had a product nominated for a software award and she was at the ceremony to demonstrate the product and collect the prize should we have the good fortune to win. She phoned to say we hadn't won - Virtual Coach, a product being developed by and for my old company and client, respectively, won. When you see snippets of MSN conversations with Chris, he's the developer of Virtual Coach - the geek, the man with the code, the laid back one man band, the Two Times Award Winning Multimedia Developer. Well done, Chris. Congratulations Awhina.

It's the last day of October. That means three things. First thing, I have to archive this month. Second thing, I have to give Marshall my completed Personal Performance Indicator (Okay I made that up.. its either an IPP or a PPI so I took a stab at what it might mean). Third thing is that tomorrow, NaNoWrImO starts.. 30 days and 50,000 words. Last year I managed 112 words (inc. the title) so I'm hoping to do better than that this year.

*****

1:00am

i typed a whole lot about today at work.. and then deleted it. not specifics about people and projects, but about how some people make me feel, and the stupid way I respond to stuff. It's nearly 1am and I can't sleep. because all I can worry about is how I'm going to get stuff done.

Dear Diary
when I grow up, I don't want to be stupid anymore.
from Michelle.

--------