Me: *dials Doreen's phone number* Him: Hello, Rob speaking. Me: ahh.. is Doreen there please? Him: Sorry, no Doreen here. Me: Oh, I'm sorry I must've misdialed. Him: Well, ah, what who, what's your name? Me: My name? Him: Yes, your name. Me: My name is Michelle. Him: Well, Michelle, I'm Rob, an independant contractor would you be interested in completing a short 5 minute IRD survey? Me: Oh, god, I reallly *did* misdial didn't I! Him: It'll only be 5 minutes, help an independent contractor with kids to feed and bills to pay. Me: Okay, go on then, only cos I'm a contractor too and you have a cute Austrailan accent. Him: Okay then, I'm going to put you down in the "25-35" age group, Michelle. Me: ahh, you'd be wrong. I'm 41. Him: 41? no way. I'm going to put you down as 37. Me: Well that's a great way to start the survey. Him: OK, Michelle, what do you think of tax codes in New Zealand today? Do you think they are Fair, Unfair? [the question was more complicated than that but i can't remember it now] Me: Wow, you really picked the wrong person to ask - I am completely hopelessly stupid in this area. Him: Can I ask, what do you do for a living Michelle? Me: I'm in contract work too, I work as a Digital Media Designer. Him: Really? do you design websites? Me: Yeh, I do that kind of thing. Him: Lets throw this survey away. Would you make a website for me and I'll help you learn a bit more about New Zealand tax. Me: Sure, I can make a website for you but I'm not doing it for nothing. Him: Oh I'll pay you. Do you like steak or white meat, Michelle. Me: ah, I'm a bit of a carnevore I eat most meat. Him: brilliant, maybe I can take you out to dinner and we could talk about it. Me: I guess we could meet, so long as you're not a psychopath or anything. Him: Well, I'll tell you I'm not a psychopath. I'm a guy who loves to socialise. I'm a guy who likes to buy the first round. Who loves his friends to be happy. Me: Well that sounds all well and good. Him: Tell me about yourself Michelle. Me: ah, what do you want to know? Him: Tell me Michelle, what has been the best day in your life so far. Me: The best day of my life so far? Him: yes. Me: I don't know how to answer that but the first thing that pops into my mind is arriving in Rome and being tired and grumpy - because I get tired, and i'm always grumpy - walking around all day and having walked up all these great white steps at a huge monument and getting to the top and realising I was looking over the Forum and there was the Colessium and thinking it was the most beautiful unexpected sight. Him: Isn't Rome wonderful. Me: Yes, it truly is. I spent two weeks there it was wonderful. Him: And tell me Michelle, did you find romance in Rome? Me: Yes, yes I did. Him: Good. 1, 2 4? how many? Me: ONE! and a couple of flirtations. Him: flirtations? Me: I never get tired of hearing "ciao bella" from good looking Italian men. Him: You sound like a woman of the world, Michelle. Me: I do? Him: I bet you're very social and go out a lot and have lots of friends. Me: I'm a recluse, actually, that's why I work in the field I do. Him: Then you must be because of some great pain or hurt. It's not your natural state. Me: Well I might be getting over years of working for other people and the pain involved in that. Him: Well, Michelle, what would you like, my email address so you can send me your contact details, or would you like me to come over right now and whisk you off for dinner? Me: Ah, I think your email details'll be just fine, thanks. Him: Are you sure? a carnivore such as yourself might need a good piece of steak for dinner tonight. Me: Thanks but I have someone coming over for dinner and if you whisk me away for steak I won't be here to let him in and he'll get cold. Him: fair enough. Do you have a pen Michelle? good, here're my details. Me: *writing down his name* that's your surname? that's almost exactly the surname of the woman i was dialing. Him: wrong name out of the phone book? Me: No, i have a cellphone number, i misdialed it by one digit. Him: Send me an email Michelle, we'll have dinner.

Heartily stolen from 35 Degrees (god i love lists). 30. Favourite Movie(s)? The Princess Bride, Blade Runner, Princess Mononoke 29. Favourite Colour: white on cream 28. Favourite Food? Gunnapenata (cubed beef bashed flat into breadcrumbs n' parmesan cheese and slowly fried in garlic butter) 27. Pet(s): I want a cat. 26. I would nominate as a holiday destination: Castaway Island, Fiji. 25. What talent do you wish you had? I wish I had a talent for Mathematics 24. 3 most precious possessions? my computers, my books, my quilting fabric 23. Favourite Artist(s): Marc Chagall, Shaun Tan, Degas 22. Favourite Song(s): Blister - Violent Fems, Throw your Arms - Hunters and Collectors, Possession - Sarah McLachlan, Not Given Lightly - Chris Knox, Perfect Drug - NIN, Figured Out - Nickelback, Tender - Blur, Ferry 'Cross the Mercy - Gerry and the Pacemakers. 21. Embarrassing moment: mis-stepping at the Loaded Hog being fairly loaded myself, smashing my glass of beer on the table as i fell and showering a table of very nice [as it turned out] Australian men in ale. 20. Perfect Job: Nasa Jet Propulsion Lab imaging expert or sports photographer. 19. If you were to be stuck on an Island 3 famous people you would choose? Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger and Colin Farrell. ...what? 18. What were you in a former life? A three toed sloth. 17. Three words to describe your dress sense? conservative, comfortable, creamy. 16. Favourite part of your body? my eyebrows 15. Favourite Smell? scent from the daphne flower 14. Whose poster did you have on the wall growing up? Peter Frampton 13. Favourite Memory? being at the beach with my dad 12. Your Fear? the dark, the deep, the unknown 11. All-time favourite TV Show: Dr Who 10. If you can be one animal, which one would you be and why? Orca - lately it's because I wonder what whale tongue tastes like. 9. Most adventurous thing you have done? White water rafting which I LOVED, and running away to Italy with no reservations or plans. 8. If your apartment/house caught fire what 3 things would you take? iBook, pillow, makeup. 7. First famous crush? Donny Osmond. 6. Favourite Book: anything illustrated by Shaun Tan 5. Favorite Fruit? Tamerillo 4. Favourite Drink? Vodka Martini, Gin and Tonic, Be'or. 3. Where were you born? Rotorua, New Zealand 2. Three words to use by others to describe you? talkative, stern, funny. 1. Favorite dessert? Pavlova

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Two years ago a diminishing marriage rate and an increase in divorces began to worry Malaysian officials. The family development minister issued a plea for spouses to be more aggressive about calling each other "darling," "sweetie," and other affectionate names. As you slip into the Amorous Season, Aries, I'm going to ask you to do that, plus more. Supercharge your entire approach to speaking the language of love. Be aware of how powerful your words can be in stirring the emotions of people you care about. Use your voice to experiment with romantic potentials and bring more truth and beauty into your intimate moments. >> FREE WILL ASTROLOGY << So - sweetie-darlings. Have you missed me as much as I've missed you? *air kisses* I'm just so boring darlings. *sighs* I bore myself I'm so boring. Dearest it's just shocking all this *lazing* about. It fair takes it out of me, pumpkin. And now, it seems, I'm in demand again and suddenly all busy once more. Poopsie, you know what they say: "No rest for the really really really really ridiculously talented." Darlings, I leave in my wake a slew of besotted clients who coo and pet and gush until I must beg them stop, for they make me blush though I know I deserve their adoration and secretly love their fawning and gifts. When I come home from a long, hard day at the squishy chairs drinking softly whipped cappucinos with casually dressed englishmen it is you, my sweetlings, that I come home to. My jewels, my angels, my precious darlings. The reason for my life itself. My honies, my fancies, my favourites. Without you, I am merely an extraordinarily beautiful, imaculately dressed woman wondering the world without a purpose. Lusting after one perfectly muscle-sculptured mediteranean man after the next. Without direction. Without you, my dearest loves, I would never know all I could be: a life half lived. Sweethearts, I love you. Everyone. Yes, even you. Be proud that you make me all that I am, you are the apple of my sparkling blue eyes; the compliment to my perfect skin; the reason I get up every morning and return every night. My loves, my honey-pots, my popsey pets, my lambs, my sweetie darling pumpkins.