Okay... that's it!!! Life is officially UNFAIR!! I just found a grey hair. In my eyebrow of all places. I am staring down the barrel of Edmund Hillary eyebrows and the first one has arrived. And yes I pulled it out and yes. i know... seven more are supposed to grow in its place but i am too young dammit, to have a grey hair in my eyebrow. I still get zits for christs sakes. I have grey hair, zits, and wrinkles. I still get my period. There is a God and I am his laughing post

You caught me. Eating the last piece and okay, licking the crumbs from the fudge I made the other night. Not being a huge chocolate fan, but fudge has a certain something, druglike something. When you get right down to it, i could have sat down and eaten two cups of white sugar cos eating fudge is just that much sugar with a flavouring (cocoa) but, something magical, something, addictive, happens when you heat these two things together. This is the first time I have made it in a year, I would say. All I want to say is.. welcome back fudge *scoffs the last bit* I am tired. I wonder why *rolling my eyes*. I stay up too late. Always have, and the Net doesn't help. I am so out of touch with the infomercials, television used to be my zone-out. I can't manage to sit through a sitcom these days. Commitment. I only have enough commitment for fifteen minute bursts of viewing. I don't miss it, though I am shocked at times at how much I don't watch when I used to be a walking tv-guide. I can't even manage the X-Files these days.. see, told you it was shocking. In your face people. They stand there and they say exactly what they want to say. Pania is one. She will be chatting along like we do, then kaboom out comes a direct no holds barred comment that leaves you blinking in disbelief. She has a huge heart, and keen eyes, and is one of the bravest people I have come across in that she says what she means and means what she says and completely says it right there kaboom. We all went away last November, to the Bay of Islands, for a quilting weekend (i set fire to Mags' car remember?). Seven of us, and one of the women, didn't like me, or mags very much, and it showed, a lot. But, in typical highschool fashion, she whispered behind hands (i mean seven is hardly a large group) made mumbly comments and generally, split the group into two as a show of power. How boring. So, Saturday night, lets go out, dinner, pool, dancing (we made that ourselves) and we get ready. Pania sees this one woman, who has been annoying Pania with incessant chatter for most of the day, and now, we are all dressed and made up and this woman is wearing a very crumpled, extemely dowdy, pretty bloody ugly, dress. Pania: "Is that all you have to wear?" Woman: "It's my favourite dress." Pania: "For goodness sake, iron it at least." Woman: "It doesn't matter, I am not into clothes, I don't care what I look like." Pania: "You may not care but we have to look at you. You are 34 years old and you look like a sad 45 year old. Give me that dress, I will iron it and you go and put some makeup on." Okay, at this point I lost it.. the bubbles of laughter bubbled right up and over and i ran to my room to tell mags. We giggled and giggled and decided Pania was our kind of people... because it was safe to, she hadn't aimed at us.... yet. She has though, since then... right between the eyes, and she was right too, after we stopped blinking we realised this. But we still really like her. Her latest goal, is trying to get me to a) join her indoor basketball team and b) go to Les Mills Gym with her. Gosh, I would have to give up smoking and I have only just got the nicotine level up to addiction statis. She says this is not a good excuse *chuckles*

I have always liked Tuesdays, and I don't quite know why. I always get up early on a Tuesday, tend to skip through my day and meet with some friends who do patchwork and quilting with me. Maybe that's it. I have been meeting on a Tuesday with some of these women for so long it scares me. Maybe that's why I like Tuesdays. Those little huddles around fabric, the smell of coffee brewing, the new ideas, the quilts, one huge constant in my life. Yesterday, I popped in, I couldn't stay, and wasn't in the mood either, I stood the whole time. Suzi made me a coffee. Beryl traded my money for the information on the Symposium I am going to this weekend in her place. There was a general buzz around the room and activity everywhere. Old members who have been gone a while have returned. New members have joined the group but I wasn't in much of a mood to make them feel welcome. Next week I will. It's hard if you have cliques and keep to what you know. A sliver.. a moment in time.. I was a backseat passenger in the ugliest Volvo I have ever seen. Nice leather seats but a driver who insisted on testing both the brakes and therefore the inertia seat belts at every opportunity. As we crawled, the traffic is always bad, crawled along the waterfront, I was day dreaming out the window. I saw a waiter pushing the glass door open to go inside the restaurant on the corner, he kinda pushed it with his shoulder and turned looking outwards as he did. And he looked right at me. In the back of the volvo. He kept looking at me. Stopped going inside, and came back out again. Looking right at me. It was about now I realised that's what he was doing. He was tall, dark, had one of those little half apron thingos waiters wear. A step, and then another, towards the car. Then of course, we were away again, I turned to see him watching the car. Eye contact. Amazing stuff. That sliver in my day. Sliver of time.