You know when your room is really messy? Littered with paper and clothes, books and notes, debris and stuff that really has no business being anywhere but in the empty rubbish bin in the corner? So messy, in fact, that when you navigated the rare islands of carpet in the sea of chaos to sit on the edge of the bed to pull on your stockings then put on your shoes in that frantic dressing mode of a late-for-work mornings, it takes you until you're half way to the bus stop to realise you've trapped some unsuspecting "something" between your skin and the heel of your stocking?

Sure you do - c'mon - you know your room gets that untidy.

Doesn't it?

No?

Just me then.

So I spose you've never had to practically undress in the bathroom at work to be relieved that the thing stuck to your heel was only the small square informational brochure they slip into boxes of Carefree tampons and not the empty condom wrapper you thought it might be. I guess then you've not sat in a toilet cubicle and giggled at your own goofiness at having the cross section illustration of the female reproductive system showing correct tampon placement in the heel of your shoe?

God. It is just me then.

In that case I'm almost positive you haven't then gone home to your exhusband's house and made him sit on the couch, plonking your now bare feet into his lap and suggested in that cute, but uncompromising tone, that you would like a foot rub and he's then found the front page of that same brochure you thought you'd removed from your stocking earlier in the day still stucked to your heel?

I suspected as much.