The Jamjar

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Learning to Fly

"Sit by me" she said, moving along the step to make room. He stepped right over her legs and next to me "No" he said "I want to get her." I looked up his tall straight body as he looked all the way down to me sitting against the wall on the third step. His knees bent and he gracefully folded himself onto the step above mine. His arms casually draped on his knees, he drew back slightly as if he couldn't quite fit me into his vision. He looked at me. And looked at me. He seemed familiar. His eyes so dark I couldn't tell pupil from iris. I was beginning to shift on the step, feeling a little nervous under his gaze. "Hello" I said, thinking maybe he was waiting for me to start the conversation. He said nothing but continued just looking at me. I looked away, then back, then away. He was very still and very quiet as he looked and looked and looked at me. He was silent so long, I was beginning to think he would never speak.

"I see your daughter in you." he said.

"How do you know I have a daughter?" I asked.

"Because I can see her in you, girl!" he leaned forward a little and said quietly "and she's naughty, just like you." He continued to look at me as I picked up my glass and took a sip. I didn't know what to say, so didn't say anything. He said "She's hiding something from you."

I scoffed slightly "That's hardly news" I said.

He continued his relentless consideration of me and I realised I wasn't feeling uncomfortable anymore. I let him look. He said "You've got to let go." His hand flew up and flicked in the air as if dismissing an insect "You've got let go and leave." I smiled and said that was a good idea, and in a few years I would consider that but he cut me off "Now, you have to go now. You have to let go. Leave your children. Leave your husband. Only then will they know." he lurched forward suddenly, his hands flying over my head as if he was shooing insects from around me "Away, go away from her!" he said to whatever was over my head though I don't think it was anything anyone else could see.

"You have to let go. You have to leave." he continued "Only then, will they learn. Only then will they know. When you let go and leave, they will know the pain you have. They will know what you have been through, what you gave up. Only then will they know, only then will they understand, and they will come to you. They will find you and come to you. They will come to you with love. With love in their hearts for you and they will know and they will find you and they will bring their love for you."

I asked him if he meant I had to leave the country. He said yes. I had to let go of my ties here, and leave the country. He drew back a little and his brow furrowed slightly "Sydney." he said "Maybe a little higher - definately Australia."

"Your life will change" he continued "In two, maybe three weeks, you will be given an opportunity. It will be the start of change for you and in five years - you will be happy."

"I'll be happy in five years?" I half joked "Promise?"

"You're not happy now, but in five years, you will be happy." his tone sobered my humour.

"Will I know this opportunity when it presents itself?" I asked.

"Yes," he said "you will know."

His eyes were so dark, his smile so brilliant and I realised who he reminded me of. "You smile like my father." I said.

"That's because it's love. I am love. I look at you with love." and he smiled a beautiful smile that reached into his dark eyes "My Angel" he said, looking into me "My Angel with wings too small to fly. Don't be afraid. We will grow those wings." He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, his voice quiet in my ear "Someone's life is about to change."