The Jamjar

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Could I be any happier right now? This is so nice. Warm and showered, Origins Sleep Time[highly recommended if you have trouble relaxing and falling asleep] softly filling my senses, Greg Johnson in my earphones, reclined on perfectly piled pillows, iBook on my lap, wearing silky pyjamas in my toasty warm bed.

I've had such a good week - worked 38 hours which is pretty impressive seeing as that was as of 10am this morning and I didn't do much on Monday at all. I've decided to stop beating myself up about the way I work. I am the way I am. So long as I meet my deadlines and committments who cares when I do my work - that's the entire point of working for myself, right?

I've been amazed with this project I am working on. How I don't have the stomach ache and sleeplessness I normally have with projects. It's not that it's smooth, or easy, or seamless or anything - it's that I'm in control of my own destiny within it I think. It's me saying Yes I Can Do This By This Date and then doing it. The mistakes I make I own. I'm only responsible for those, and conversely I own the success of it too. I'm not being sucked dry by creativity vampires anymore.

OH I still rant - ask rosie and james, I was pounding the keyboard to them today ranting and knit-picking. It's not all tranquility and serenity - but it's so much nicer. I'm even getting a perspective on my procrastination too - it's all good, it's all part of how I work.

So this afternoon, with work done and emails sent, I lay down at 5pm for a nap - waking up somewhere around 10pm.

This weekend's weather forecast promises very tightly packed isobars so I'm planning on wearing coat/gloves at the Warriors vs. Eels game tomorrow night. YAY! I love wearing my coat though I have to admit it's starting to look a bit worse for wear. I will make it last the rest of this winter - but next Winter, I plan to buy a new one - not black either - red or orange or lime: oh yeh.

I got a bit worried about what I write online just then.

I know lots of people write about far more important things on their websites than how high their pillows are stacked or what colour their next-years coat's going to be - I don't have any interest in politics or news or religion or all the other topics I see on other people's sites - plus, they do a hell of a better job that I ever could manage. I like work, and funny people, and television and movies, and going to live sport and music. I like taking photos and i love sending pxt. I like my bed and I love my computer. I like to travel but hardly do it, and I love to drink coffee in cafes with friends.

My world is small and compact, and built on routine and measured paths. I only know what I know and I only type what swims around on my brain at any given moment. And I do it so I can read it again later and remember my past which, I often forget in the busy'ness of living.

My mind is full of collage and ripping paper, of paint and glitter glue, of painting and drawing of things that have been pushed out of the creative space of my mind by pixels and deadlines.

I've been told I'm funnier when I'm miserable, you might have to get used to a more squishy, happy Mish. It's nice - I'm beginning to remember what it's like to not be angry all the time.