ARIES (March 21-April 19): Two years ago a diminishing marriage rate and an increase in divorces began to worry Malaysian officials. The family development minister issued a plea for spouses to be more aggressive about calling each other "darling," "sweetie," and other affectionate names. As you slip into the Amorous Season, Aries, I'm going to ask you to do that, plus more. Supercharge your entire approach to speaking the language of love. Be aware of how powerful your words can be in stirring the emotions of people you care about. Use your voice to experiment with romantic potentials and bring more truth and beauty into your intimate moments. >> FREE WILL ASTROLOGY <<

So - sweetie-darlings. Have you missed me as much as I've missed you? *air kisses* I'm just so boring darlings. *sighs* I bore myself I'm so boring. Dearest it's just shocking all this *lazing* about. It fair takes it out of me, pumpkin. And now, it seems, I'm in demand again and suddenly all busy once more. Poopsie, you know what they say: "No rest for the really really really really ridiculously talented."

Darlings, I leave in my wake a slew of besotted clients who coo and pet and gush until I must beg them stop, for they make me blush though I know I deserve their adoration and secretly love their fawning and gifts.

When I come home from a long, hard day at the squishy chairs drinking softly whipped cappucinos with casually dressed englishmen it is you, my sweetlings, that I come home to. My jewels, my angels, my precious darlings. The reason for my life itself. My honies, my fancies, my favourites. Without you, I am merely an extraordinarily beautiful, imaculately dressed woman wondering the world without a purpose. Lusting after one perfectly muscle-sculptured mediteranean man after the next. Without direction. Without you, my dearest loves, I would never know all I could be: a life half lived.

Sweethearts, I love you. Everyone. Yes, even you. Be proud that you make me all that I am, you are the apple of my sparkling blue eyes; the compliment to my perfect skin; the reason I get up every morning and return every night.

My loves, my honey-pots, my popsey pets, my lambs, my sweetie darling pumpkins.