Reasons I Love My New Kettle

It's blue and semi-transparent
It's a cordless Russell Hobbs
It was on sale for HALF price
When I fill it with water, I can see the level
When I put it on it's base and flip the switch, it automatically switches itself off when its boiled
It will never make a cup of tea by itself
When it gives me a list of things it wants me to do, it's the exact list it wants - it doesn't give me a list and expects me to be understand that the it is an off-the-cuff meaningless message-in-passing and *telepathically* sends me the *actual* list from the kitchen while I am in the lounge
My kettle knows I have no extrasensory powers
It never expects me to know stuff it hasn't told me
It never goes out while I'm still making a cup of tea in the kitchen
It doesn't expect me to do the entire layout of a full section of a document when that's the desktoppublisher's job
My kettle knows just how long it takes to boil water and never expects it to be done in less time
It never uses the word "just" giving me the impression it thinks my job is a piece of cake
It knows how to use Word.